Monday, February 9, 2015

Your own mind plays games with you.

"To say a person is a happy person or an unhappy person is ridiculous. We are a thousand different kinds of people every hour."

Fresh starts
I don't think they can always do the trick

On some days, the only fairy tales that come true are the ones you see in movies, probably your favourite ones, the kinds you've seen over and over again

You're judging a book by its cover
By just looking at a situation, or noticing someone perform poorly for the first time; by merely predicting how a company is going to perform after having been a part of the company for the shortest while (probably days)
- These don't depict that you have a fairly good grasping power! It shows that you were reckless enough to not want to get into the depth of any of it, and therefore you jumped to a conclusion, once again, and failed yourself in the mind of someone observing you.

"I'm terrible at journaling. But I do it anyway, because I think that maybe one day I'll write something that I didn't know before, and suddenly it will all make sense."
- Words taken from a wonderful post of Humans of New York.

Sometimes, you don't get to choose things in your life
They're choices that have been made for you by someone else
This someone could be someone you know, could also be someone you don't (if at all that is possible), and then it could be an energy too (the faith you have in things that make your subconscious choose for the conscious you, you still staying oblivious to what the f**k happened)
It sucks that you're not fully aware of all the choices that are being made for you, in your life, sometimes.

You're hurt and you only wish to work things your way
But ofcourse that's not possible
Life would just be an easy path to walk on then
We'd forget it's something one aims to come out of, alive

Unexpected things always happen
Because if one could predict every single thing that's going to happen
Then what's the fun in that
Or may I say, what's the point if all the troubles that are going to come your way were already seen and acted upon before needed
(The things beyond control of the ordinary
and subjectivity in the definition of the word 'trouble')

A clip from the movie: 'The Song'
The movie I saw on the flight
(yes, not 'a' flight, 'the' flight, since the journey had taken a U turn)
The disappointment when you can't find a movie online, but I loved this part (the video)!
The music. And then Alan Powell's inspiring words in general, in an interview (taken by Conn Jackson)

It sucks that every individual has to go through so much in one lifetime

Emotions, feelings, humanity
Man, they sure can mess with one's world
And on that note,
"There is a price to be paid for every increase in consciousness. We cannot be more sensitive to pleasure without being more sensitive to pain."

Therapy.
Everyone needs it. Often.
Whether it's Uncle Chips and your favourite chocolate
Or listening to your favourite song on repeat
Or sleep
Or smoke a cigarette
Cry in the bathroom
Scream
Or a punching bag
Or listening to a kind of song, one plays on loud
Or going through old albums/diaries/stuff
Or vent to a human (in all probability your friend who's always been there)

When you listen to songs like
I Should Go by Levi Kreis
after really, really long...

When you can't be yourself with the people in your life, and cry or smile whenever you feel like, what the f**k is the point?

When a domestic servant at your house suddenly starts crying and pours her heart out to you
You feel a weight, but at the same time, there is a tiny amount of positivity, that you're there to make her say it all out so she could feel better
But you also feel helpless to an extent, although you did discuss the matter further, and would aim to help as much as possible

When something unusual happens
and you're unable to handle it
You're not sure how
but you're not able to breathe
You're getting choked, but oddly, you're keeping at it out of choice

When in a conversation with a friend,
and he wondered as to why he wasted all this time planning a room design and putting so much into it, when he could've easily hired a professional to do the same,
I figured, sometimes, you have to derive sense out of it
The very fact that he did put all that effort, and the room is done now, every time he'd look at a painting or a pattern, he'd be reminded of how he did it all by himself, and at that moment of realization, if he gets happiness by being able to relate to so much of it in that room, it's been worth it...

When someone reassures you more than the times you needed it

And,

"I feel very strongly that I'm surrounded by other realities. We don't really go that far into people, even when we think we do. We hardly ever go in and bring them out. We just stand at the jaws of the cave, and strike a match, and ask quickly if anybody's there."

"Vulnerability sounds like truth and feels like courage. Truth and courage aren't always comfortable, but they're never a weakness."

"And in all those cruel, difficult moments I encountered, I always wished I would be a little kid again. Not because everything was easier when you were a child; not because you weren't responsible for anything including yourself; not even because life was much more simple, but simply because you had all the rights to scream, to shout, to cry your heart out whenever you felt like it without having anyone blaming you for not being strong:

You can wail the moment you feel that you miss or need anyone. You can scream when you're afraid. You can cry when you're left alone. You have all the rights to weep when it's your first day at school and you're alone and terrified from this sudden change that took place in your life.

If you're a kid, you won't have to fake a smile when your insides are burning just to seem strong and fine! Back then, you had all these rights - until they started telling you that you're a 'grown-up' now and you shouldn't be crying; that you should be strong and responsible; that you might be dying from inside but still you must manage to smile.

I just don't mind losing that 'grown-up' title if that's all I have to lose in order to regain my childhood life and my childhood rights again. I just wish it were possible. Because having to act as a grown up is very painful sometimes."

- Credits to the page: 'berlin-artparasites' for the above quotes.
(The most relatable page on social media ever!)

Angels Walk Among Us - Anathema
Sugar - Maroon 5
Holocene - Bon Iver
Instant Crush ft. Julian Casablancas - Daft Punk
Waiting - The Devlins
Bruises - Train
Speeding Cars - Imogen Heap
#Music

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