Monday, March 20, 2017

Feeling how you felt, only makes you human

"Destiny is not a matter of chance, it is a matter of choice."

The people in your life are supposed to make it all easier
If they're making it difficult, you know you must question the relationship!

It's always going to be about how one has been conditioned through life
It's why we see some people as really graceful beings, respectful not just towards elders, but just by nature while speaking to anyone, it's in the way they speak and their tone
and then of course there are those who think they're perfectionists and everyone should just live serving to fulfil their wishes and demands

"It's a little strange to actually get an award for being nice and generous and kind, which is what we're all supposed to do with one another. That's the point of being a human."
- Ellen DeGeneres

Upbringing
The impact of that on a human being is just so undervalued!
A child you're raising and pampering today is going to be someone's husband/wife tomorrow, someone's father/mother

Situational behaviour
It really depends on whether you make it a big deal or not
and that will depend on the kind of people/thoughts you surround yourself with
So if you make it a big deal, it will definitely be a task/challenge for you, because you've already convinced yourself that it's not going to be manageable
So don't make everything a big deal... Let it be!
You'll be able to deal with it all as it comes, if you believe that you can, and that you'll take it as it comes

It's surprising how the generation right before mine is more messed up in their thoughts and attitude towards life, than mine!
Thinking you're always right is death to the brain God has given you to wonder, stay curious and exercise your imaginative abilities

Some things, you should never tell anyone
Not even your best friend
Especially when you're aware that you and the other person have drastically different views on a particular subject
It's one thing to have identified the disagreement, acknowledge it and come to terms with it
It's another to share more views on the same
You'll only hurt yourself in the process

Bring up your child with love and chores.
Anyone who has an MBA but hasn't been brought up with a habit of doing chores, will not be able to mould.
(in discussion with a very wise friend, when we talked about parenting, after she'd heard these views on a ted talk)

Passengers, the movie
How her mind works and he feels that something written by her is what he can relate to so much, it's as if it was written just for him
Without knowing/meeting this person ever, but having spent months thinking about how this person could be as a partner in life
She writes, but had never written about herself
Arthur, the robot who doesn't have a heart obviously, only follows instructions, can't feel, but his character is portrayed in a manner that it can be deceiving even for a human, with regard to trust

"When you have been trying to fix a problem for too long
Let go of what you can't control for sometime
Live a little" - a robot saying that to a human

It's so strange how we humans work
We want to live in a world dominated by technology
But look for nature when that's the case

"Anyone can find the dirt in someone. Be the one who finds the gold."

Life isn't always about proving a point
To your partner
To your parent
To the world
To another person

I'm not sure still, after all these years, if humans pay for their karma or not, considering we see rapists in our country walking free, let alone those who get a high after hurting another person's feelings

Sometimes...
There's only so much you can do
You explain a viewpoint
You observe a certain aspect a number of times in many ways
But if the person you're trying to show your perspective to, through your eyes, refuses to see what you see
You're only making attempts in vain
Not only because this person will never get it, but because even if this person eventually does get what you see now, it'll be too late

When you trust people without the fear that your trust might be broken by them, you will be surprisingly happier in life!

When you have tried your best to explain something to someone
Or you shared your thoughts
But the other person just doesn't get it because he/she is only going to be looking at it from his/her level of perception

"The quality of your thinking determines the quality of your life."

When you feel everything too deeply
Not only are you the only one getting hurt
You're the only one feeling how you're feeling
People don't think about how you feel unless they know that feeling

Everything in life doesn't have to be compared
Everyone's struggles are different
Just because one's trouble doesn't seem as much to you because you've faced a lot more in life already, doesn't make their troubles small/petty
You don't know how one deals with it all really
We all deal with stuff in our own ways

The lesser number of friends, the better they say?
You're more at peace and in sync with knowing who'll be there for you no matter what
and that you don't need to be in touch or show affection in anyway sometimes
It's all just understood between the two people

Selfishness
We dwell in it as a species
No matter what the degree of it is
We act as per our convenience, we speak in sync with our benefit
Even if it is a little thing like making a call, we don't usually keep the other person's situation/convenience in mind, in personal life
That's when we're taking things for granted, bit by bit

"And many prefer not to exercise their imaginations at all. They choose to remain comfortably within the bounds of their own experience, never troubling to wonder how it would feel to have been born other than they are..."
~ some of my favourite words from the Harvard commencement speech given by J.K. Rowling

We always only think from our level of perception, no matter what the situation
It's amazing that the people you consider empathetic and observant in your life, are the ones who don't see what you see
and then you realise that only time will give certain answers to them
because time does give answers, especially to those who choose to stay silent

Instead of accepting each other's flaws, differences, nature, way of thinking... one is always trying to show the other person how he/she is wrong in his/her thought process and this is what he/she could do to become better or more flexible
How does one's nature and way of perceiving have anything to do with being rigid anyway?
Okay, maybe a little.

People showing they care, in front of others, time and again, are the kinds who have major insecurities in life
I mean, you don't have to show it in front of anyone or prove it to anyone
If you care, it's understood, just by the person you are and the vibe you give out rather than the words you speak amongst a group of people on purpose, to show that you do
I absolutely detest it when people do it for the world or in front of other naive humans, demonstrating the same by being unusually explicit about it, as if it needs validation every time

When you don't expect too much from a situation or from the people in your life, you'll be less disappointed in life in general, for sure

It sucks when you care too much. You realise that the other person is better with those, who don't care even half as much as you. It's true!

You expect your best friend to understand your viewpoint or be in sync with your thought, when you share how you feel about a particular situation or what you sensed, but when he/she isn't on the same page as you, and is confident or perhaps has chosen to not feel how you feel
You really can't do anything except for time and situations to make your friend see what you see
I may have been repetitive about this point, in this post, but I cannot seem to emphasise on it enough.

Arrival
Lion
#MustWatchMovies

You think everyone means what they say because you mean everything you say, and that's where you've gone completely wrong.

The definition of being modern is still so messed up in our society. People think angrezi and clothes do it. Soch ko theek nahi karna lekin.

When your day is made from conversations with two wonderful and genuine souls
A call from an old, and favourite teacher, after years
and a well-wisher who strongly believes that you and her have a connection from the past life
The feeling is indescribable! :)

"You think it's normal to feel everything so deeply, so you expect the same from other people. Well, don't; because it's not normal. It's not normal at all. It's rare. It's precious. It's actually amazing how the things which don't even brush their hearts, somehow manage to burn a hole in yours."

PS- Happy New Year!
2017 seems to be flying already!

Wednesday, December 7, 2016

You don't have to stay broken

"We don't have to agree on anything to be kind to one another."

It is still the hardest job to continue to stay who you are while people keep pulling you down or atleast don't give up on trying to change you
Oh humans... people feel the way they feel for a reason and they think the way they think for a reason
Empaths will get affected by everything you say to them because words hurt.

If only someone could take away the pain and burden of knowing how strongly someone close in your life disagrees with your decision
Life is ... about being happy apparently
But at the cost of?
So, based on your assumptions that you'd be happy in the future, you jump into the unknown?

It's all about choices.

Why is it that human contact is in fact so necessary, that without it, there's lack of validation and a sense of incompleteness, with regard to the purpose of existence?

Trust.
What is it?
You trust your partner to love you as much as you love him/her with all your heart and never hurt you or break you knowing he/she has the power to.

When you keep your phone away for a day,
Digital detox is really important when we're living in a world dominated by technology!

Money.
It's important to you when you don't have enough of it. It's not as important to you when you have enough of it (exceptions are the self-made people). And I guess that's pretty much applicable to anything in life.

"Psychology says, people who hide their feelings usually care the most."

A human's emotions coming out on another person. Once in a while is one thing, every time is another. Marriage surely isn't for everybody. In the words of a wise woman, an excellent dessert maker, "marriage is compromise." And that's the thing, what if one can't keep doing that?

Why is it that the society doesn't allow/permit a girl to live with her parents for life, but a son can and in fact is expected to, even if/when he doesn't want/wish to?

The one thing I handle in the worst way: uncertainty ahead
But that's the thing
You just need to plunge into the unknown to find out for yourself what is out there
Even if it means taking the big decisions in life
You won't know the answer to your 'what if' if you don't

People will take you for granted, they will check your patience level
No matter what on earth you do for them or anyone who means the world to them
They will take advantage of your adjusting and giving nature till the point that you don't speak up about being hurt/affected by their words/actions
These are the opposite of humble.

One of the worst feelings in life is not knowing why you've come so far
It's a sad, sad state when you don't have an answer to your 'why' with regard to the path you've been on for so long or rather fought for
...and you begin to doubt yourself. Don't ever let yourself do that!

Sarson ka saag made by my mother is probably one of the finest creations that I've had the privilege of tasting almost every year during winters...

How is a person expected to take a plunge in life and be at one's best at the same time?

That satisfying feeling when you give bones to the stray dogs outside your house on a late dinner night, especially when you didn't eat yourself :)

Why don't people question their sons as much as they question their daughters?

There is no space left for certain emotions in some people's lives
They've had that much to deal with, that they don't know what it's like to show that extra concern towards themselves or even for a person they love dearly
It's true.

Indians giving bouquets to each other on an occasion: waste of money and the flowers!
(keeping the exceptions aside)
The next day, you'll see the flowers in the dustbin. Very few actually make the effort to take the flowers out of the plastic, and probably put them in a vase with water even for a day.

And the Indian festivals that lead to people buying flowers worth hundreds of rupees, I mean, come on, you can make someone's life better with that much money. Because even if you do use those flowers to decorate your homes for a day, the next day, those flowers are going to be in the bin only. But no, no, why should we think that much, when what's more important is decorating and clicking pictures of those flowers on the ground, and getting that validated by people you don't really care about. The people selling flowers in temples fall under a different category all together. That's their bread and butter. The ones who show up only and specifically during festivals have other jobs and means of earning.

When you don't need another person (not even your best friend) to tell you to look at the bright side or think of how blessed you are
Because it's not that you've forgotten even for a second (all the more because you're one to remind others around you to stay thankful), but you just wanted to be heard without any reason for a moment
I guess that's the difference between a human and a diary/dog, there is no response from the other end especially in terms of rationalisation in the case of the latter

"Nobody can do for little children what grandparents do. Grandparents sort of sprinkle stardust over the lives of little children."

Who'd want to be taunted for crying?
Yes, in some parts of this strange world... even crying is a taboo!

Work. You have to work hard. For yourself. For the point you're trying to prove to the most important people in your life that you can survive, all by yourself.

People living in a parallel universe...

You choose who you are.
Whether you choose to be at a certain place at a certain time, or with people who expected their presence to matter to you...matter to you more than your presence elsewhere.

There's something called 'personal touch' when it comes to taking care of your elders
The same action can be performed by a helper, but you doing it adds care to it in a way that no one else can fill that missing gap of care/affection

Life, especially the serious days of it, the ones we add seriousness to with all the problems in our head... Laugh it out. This is something I've finally started to implement. Something I learnt from an important person in my life.

You choose who you could be.

Different people get a high from different things ~
Saving lives as a doctor
Working for an ngo and changing lives
Proving others wrong around you
Yelling at domestic helpers/employees
Scolding someone younger to you
Making others feel bad for you
Alcohol
Inflicting pain on another person
Skydiving
Making a stranger happy
It's a matter of being in control with your own state of mind!

When it so happens that due to some of your own actions, your friends withdrew, without you realising what you said/did, and by the time you become aware of it, it's been a while, you must use all that time and energy you would've used on building a relationship further, towards building your career/educating yourself and becoming more aware of how you can progress in an area that will eventually help you in the future.

"You can meet someone tomorrow who has better intentions for you than someone you've known for years, time means nothing, character does."

Human beings hurt each other the most!

The difference between making a video and a scrapbook...for your mother
She wouldn't need battery in her phone to see it, or space to see/find it!
She can touch the book and go through it whenever she feels like without straining her eyes with the brightness of the screen in the middle of the night..

~ Music ~

Closer - The Chainsmokers [Boyce Avenue Cover]
Right Place Right Time - Olly Murs
Chocolate - The 1975
Faded - Alan Walker
Say You Won't Let Go - James Arthur
This Town - Niall Horan
All We Know - The Chainsmokers

Aashiq Tera - Sohail Sen
(from the movie Happy Bhag Jayegi)
The Breakup song - Jonita Gandhi
Nachde Ne Saare - Jasleen Royal
#OnRepeat #Bollywood

Closer - Kabira - The Chainsmokers
Blank Space - Mental Manadhil
#VidyaVoxMashupCovers

Boyce Avenue covers are a kind of their own :)

If the luxuries are basic necessities for you (from the perspective of a layman), then you will never be content in life, because the variety is endless, and so your thirst to own/possess more will never die...

"Your complete inability to ever hide a single thing you felt" - That's me!
Me Before You ~ What a wonderful movie :')
Sometimes in life, the most beautiful things happen to people who think life won't be nice to them.
Life ~ it asks you to live it to the fullest. It expects you to consider it your duty to live it to the best of your abilities, for we all get one chance.
But then again, movies are movies for a reason.

It must be the first time that I've stopped believing that even parts of a movie can happen to one in reality
It's a lie, a big lie
No one will ever care for you like that, even the person who loves you the most.

The Best of Me ~ another movie that made me smile and made me question universe's ways of working and how destiny does say hello to you even if you try and run away from it. Loved it.

Some people's lives are only about hairstyles, makeup, dresses and parties ~ it's all about appearance

An important learning for myself,
If a person is of a very different nature than yours, and you just cannot understand or cannot relate with... Don't zone out or show it on your face
You don't know why that person is that way (upbringing, circumstances, apathetic by nature)

"People enter our lives for many reasons
Sometimes we are destined to help them on their journey
Sometimes they are there to help us grow
Sometimes they come to lead us to someone else
Sometimes they are there to show us what we do not want
Sometimes they come to remind us how beautiful we are
Sometimes they are there to teach us a lesson
Sometimes they come to show us how to love again
People don't always stay and sometimes it hurts
Just remember, everything happens for a reason...
Whether they stay or go...
...we will take a piece of them with us forever."

The thing is, when you don't wish to learn about some people's lives, you really shouldn't be made to. It only makes you hate it all.

What makes people think that money gives them power over others who don't have as much as them?
It's beyond me.
Insensitivity amongst the rich and educated is prevalent.
Thank goodness for people like J.K. Rowling and Melinda Gates.

I miss Bombay.
The feel that city gives you when you're there.

We've all read this somewhere or the other, but I'm going to repeat it here, because I really don't think it's said enough:
Money can not buy/teach you or your child: how to speak to someone, manners, behavioural ethics, basic etiquettes, and kindness!
The list can certainly be longer but I'll stop at that. Inherited wealth is the worst. It makes you look down upon people and you'll never even admit that, that has become a part of who you are. You're far from empathy. A wise friend once said to me, 'Garima, self made men aren't rich, they weren't born with it, they earned every penny themselves and so they're rich not in terms of money but in terms of their experiences, it's the next generation who's rich.'

Another thing is,
Common sense is not common in common people!
Goodness, we've all been blessed with a brain (okay, there are four different kinds apparently) and the same thinking capacity, but, humans just don't seem to want to use their heads enough. They call it overthinking when a person attempts to rationalise.

Your opinions start to matter less the day you have gone against one's decision and put your foot down.

Indian railway station - 9 pm - foggy - people stare because they believe it's their right and because it's the right thing to do - you want to go buy a packet of chips for yourself and for the driver who has come to drop you and a couple of more people - the first thought that crosses your mind as a female is - whether or not you should even walk by yourself to a counter that's at quite a distance - why - because that's how your country has always made you feel when you're out alone anywhere even for a minute!

The problem with most rich Indians is, they will look down upon anyone who A. earns less in general B. earns lesser than them C. cannot do anything for them D. whose colour doesn't appeal to their eyes E. whose job doesn't appeal to them
Ofcourse, there'd be exceptions to the above, but frankly, I can't stand the fact that people actually get to behave like that and get to convey as if they have some sort of power over another person, just because they think they do.

When a lady (your mother's age), talks confidently about how she didn't let her son pursue the course he wanted to, and made him stick to the realistic options/career path in life..
shows exactly what's wrong in the thought process of parents even today, when they don't see how not allowing their child to pursue a career of his/her own choice (a part of his/her passion) lead their children to only believe that they wouldn't have been able to pull it off/make a living with the same...

Before the Flood - so important for everyone to watch!!

And,
In the words of Jim Carrey,

"My father could have been a great comedian, but he didn't believe that that was possible for him, and so he made a conservative choice. Instead, he got a safe job as an accountant. When I was 12 years old, he was let go from that safe job, and our family had to do whatever we could to survive. I learned many great lessons from my father, not the least of which was that you can fail at what you don't want, so you might as well take a chance on doing what you love.
How will you serve the world?
What do they need that your talent can provide?
That's all you have to figure out.
As someone who's done what you're about to go and do, I can tell you from experience,
the effect you have on others is the most valuable currency there is.
Because everything you gain in life will rot and fall apart.
And all that will be left of you, is what was in your heart."

Tuesday, August 23, 2016

Dark realities and more

"Half the world is starving, the other half is trying to lose weight."

When the day begins on a pleasant note, but you knew that that won't stay for long, as nothing does

"To understand is to perceive patterns..."

There's that weight you carry inside of you, until you don't say it out loud or take it out just by sharing silence...
The other person has to have the perspicacity and power to reason, to know that you just need the silence to be shared for a while and the aggressive emotion will go away.. Because when you're the emotional one and start to get angry even when you've just missed someone a little too much, and although you're usually pretty good at conveying your thoughts, this one time you don't want to and want the other person to just get it.. But of course people don't always infer what you expect them to.. That only happens sometimes.. The rest of the times you probably just get lucky

Interacting with kids will always remain one of the greatest ways to learn something new!

Awaaz badha ne se, baat sahi nahi ho jaati!
(You don't become right by raising your volume!)

When movies like Udta Punjab are released in the Indian cinema...
Not only do you get to hear about controversies, you suddenly become more aware of the degree of the problem existing in that state! The people living in the state are far from the purpose of life and are in an existential crisis it seems. A dark movie with strong messages indeed. Excellent acting by the cast.

Why can't people live by the mantra that people who have a lot lesser than them are happier than they've ever been?

"Hold on to every genuine person you find. This generation has people driven by ego, money and status. As a result good souls are ruined daily. Keep your head up and be conscious of the energy you give out and connect with."

When you're in the middle of writing a post, and the lady who's the caretaker (apparently they're addressed as jaapa in Hindi) of your nephew, starts to share a bit more about her life... and you have your mouth open when she says she was married off to a forty year old man when she was twelve! She had her first child when she was just sixteen! And she's my age right now. She sounded happy that she was married off to him because he didn't take dowry!
You go back to realising how people think, and how their lives have been, and how each of them are going through unimaginable situations...
which is exactly why I absolutely dislike people who are not thankful, in our wonderful (whose definition of modern is probably less/westernised clothes and not thoughts) society!

People whining about trivial things and going on about it, always
COME ON. Look around for heaven's sake!
Such humans don't know the value of other humans and don't want to either.

"I have never understood why people go out of their way to put others down. Be a good person, it isn't that effing hard."

A number of people have died crossing the Mediterranean Sea in 2016
There are people who died in Orlando
The terrorist attacks are never ending ... all in the name of I don't know what!
There are rapes happening every minute in different parts of the world
There are people misbehaving
Some losing themselves whilst attempting to prove themselves to others
Some continue to live in their big bubbles where everything is flowery and nice
It makes you want to tell everyone around you, to just continue to be thankful!

The ultimate truth stated by Matt Haig in his book, Reasons to Stay Alive

Finding Dory
The emphasis laid on how an instinct is a natural ability
I recognised Ellen DeGeneres' voice without knowing it was hers :) She's too damn good.
#movie

This Sweet Love - James Yuill
Da Da Dasse - Kanika Kapoor
Cheerleader (Felix Jaehn Remix) - Omi
#music

The level of complexity in our bodies..
I'd blame the hormones for all the unexpected mood swings too!
The female body's behaviour and its relationship with one's age ~ something men must give thought to as well!

People will hurt you... time and again
yes, the same ones whom you gathered the courage to trust again
What are you going to do about it?
Don't let it break you!

"There are more fruits in a rich man's shampoo than in a poor man's plate."

We all have a tendency to surprise ourselves, we just have to want to test our abilities in the right direction to that extent
Things happen, life has better plans for us sometimes
We just got to take it all one day at a time
The choices you make, some of them might turn out to be harder than you'd thought
But regret never fixes anything
You just got to deal with it the best way possible

"A dog has no use for fancy cars, big homes, or designer clothes. A water log stick will do just fine. A dog doesn't care if you're rich or poor, clever or dull, smart or dumb. Give him your heart and he'll give you his. How many people can you say that about? How many people can make you feel rare and pure and special? How many people can make you feel extraordinary?"
#Marley&Me

If someone ever tells you to change yourself, stay away from that person
Why should you change just because you're sensitive and let things get to you fast?
You are who you are for a reason

When you're too tired of explaining yourself, of keeping up, of controlling your tears.. that you just want to give up.. You don't know where to draw the strength from
The part that's the worst throughout the above is that the people pulling you down are the ones you never thought would be the ones!

No one's guidance or advice is going to help with regard to knowing how to be the right one in a marriage, or how to be a parent, because no one is going to tell you time and again that it's going to be hard, and that everyone has a very unique experience of their own
No body prepares you for the hardest jobs in the world ~ managing relationships
While you're overwhelmed and unable to take it, you react in ways that damage them too much
What you may have to give up during that journey/phase of life is also going to come as a surprise
There'll be moments when it wouldn't feel like you made the right choice, or that it wasn't worth it
Just ensure that you have the right people in your life telling you the right things, things you needed to hear for the reassurance that was needed.. Don't let anyone ever tell you otherwise.. You and your closest friend know how you may have coped with it all..

All these love stories they show in movies
Never believe them
Because you'll only be a big fool to think that's ever possible in reality
You'll get hurt, you'll have arguments even after all your attempts to rationalise
No matter what you do, how much ever you go out of your way for someone, at some point you'll be put down
That's how humans are, the messed up species

One of my favourite advertisements!
Geeta Phogat ~ will of steel

Olympics and a number of Indians making the nation proud! :)
#Rio2016

It's true when they say that if you're not losing friends, you aren't growing up.

There are those who don't consider themselves worthy of things and deserve the world, and then there are those who haven't done shit to deserve what they've been blessed with, but have much more than needed, let alone deserve. This is exactly where destiny and past life's good karma play their role.

There is a post due specifically on marriage and experiences attending weddings from different cultures :)

The world is a dangerous place when there are more people who want to prove wrong than right.

This post had been in drafts for way too long!

Love is on the Way [Saigon Kick Cover]
~ sung by a friend!
Subscribe to his channel if you like it? :)
The link to it: YouTube channel
#musician

"Raaste kahan khatam hote hain zindagi ke safar mein,
manzil toh wohi hai jahan khwahishein khatam ho jaaye"

Saturday, April 16, 2016

Depends on whether you're looking for meaning or not ~

"Do not listen with the intent to reply,
but with the intent to understand."

Why do we bargain with the people earning the least in our country?
I just don't get it.
You're willing to pay a big amount at a branded store, being well aware that the price isn't worth the product... but you will still continue to tell the vegetable/fruit vendor and rickshaw driver to charge you five rupees less.
#ComeOn!

"There's a physical connection you can draw between how often you have to sharpen your pencil and how much work you've done."
- Caroline Weaver

A painkiller for an adult is like a toy to a crying baby #simile
The pain hasn't gone anywhere but your brain's been informed that it has apparently; the child's hiccups are still making him/her uneasy, but the sound and movement of the toy gets his/her mind off it and works pretty well as a distraction!

Introverts are introverts for a reason and they should never be forced to speak/share too much..
Because they are who they are for a reason!
It's just so sad that our hypocritical society isn't accepting of that nature
Why is everyone constantly stuck on attempting to change one another?
Why? Live and let live?

"It takes years as a woman to unlearn what you have been taught to be sorry for."

I am a firm believer of the fact that karma will find its way back to you (!)

Electricity and the wait for it, when Nani watches katha every evening on TV
#LittleThings

Thai noodles soup and crispy mushrooms with a friend, and a short drive after that whilst discussing the general siyapaas that tend to exist in the life of a twenty five year old female in our society :)

"You can't change someone who doesn't see an issue in their actions."

One amongst many making a mountain out of a molehill about pretty much every thing
Sad emotions are okay around you as long as you're in your bubble
Zero empathy, let alone compassion
Money servants money servants money servants
~ stories of some...

I personally don't even like the term 'servant'
I mean, no one is your slave, so stop treating someone like one!
But ofcourse in our country, they wouldn't say domestic help/helpers... just like they don't say homemaker and instead choose to say housewife

Why is it that people don't give enough attention to the words being used by them!?

A child's thoughts must always be cultivated in the right manner
Of course, the 'right' depends on the parent defining it for the child

"I stopped explaining myself when I realised that people only understand from their level of perception."

In life, you'll come across all sorts of challenges...
Depends on you what you're willing to put at stake for each of them.
The journey will take you places
It'll make you say why me?
How hard is it to let it be and let one be and not hurt that person by saying something you already have, again and again?
Oh it hurts me sometimes to see how people behave with their siblings and children

You meet people, you judge them, you make rigid decisions
Is that how it's supposed to be?
Ofcourse not!

But if there's anything I've learned lately, it's that, whoever is not empathetic will never feel the pain. They are just like that. Detached and insensitive.

"There is something hugely civilised about allowing long pauses in a conversation. Very few people can stand that kind of silence."

The society we live in ~
No matter how the people are in a family, there is always differentiation done between siblings, between a son and a daughter
It amazes me how human beings are still unaware of karma's role in life

It's just so sad that the essence of life is lost around
Not many care about what is to be cared about
People just want to talk about people
It's all become about storing everything in your phone's gallery and not going back to see it
Gut feelings aren't believed by most of us
You're called crazy if you want to follow your heart, because ofcourse money and servants should be the ultimate goal
It's tragic to see most thoughts only going in this direction

"Opinion is really the lowest form of human knowledge. It requires no accountability, no understanding. The highest form of knowledge is empathy, for it requires us to suspend our egos and live in another's world. It requires profound purpose larger than the self kind of understanding."
- Bill Bullard

Financial independence isn't a concept that is encouraged
But finding a rich husband is more than welcome!
(yes, it's as sickening as it sounds)

People marry for money and they also believe and think that everyone else must do the same!

"Confidence must be monitored so that it does not spoil or rot and turn to arrogance."

When things start to fall in place, it'll almost feel unbelievably strange
But then again, the universe does have its ways of working things out for you :)

"Artists are people driven by the tension between the desire to communicate and the desire to hide."

Wake Up - Three Days Grace
~ sung by a friend with passion..
yes, I'm promoting his cover/channel shamelessly :)
#musician

"Never be envious of what someone else has. You don't know the price they paid to get it, and you don't know the price they are paying to keep it."

You want something I would never even think of wanting. I want something you don't want. Fair enough. Keep your choice with yourself and let me keep mine with me. I absolutely fail to understand (as always) as to why validation is necessary or even important! Why?
I'm not putting my nose in your life and passing opinions, you shouldn't either!

"Astrology is a great excuse to blame planets for your incompetence."

Neerja Bhanot ~ what an inspiration!
I haven't seen the movie but the story is extraordinary and so was she :)

"You haven't truly given until you have given till it hurts."

What do you think you should do? ~ A mother questioning her eleven year old in different situations, in an attempt to ensure that the child uses his/her own mind to think and isn't just instructed what to do instead
#GoodParenting

"You never really understand a person until you consider things from his/her point of view, until you climb inside of his/her skin and walk around in it." - Atticus Finch
~ something I've always said and believed in
... I was genuinely surprised to know that it's a quote from one of the books that has been on my list; To Kill A Mockingbird by Harper Lee
I've only added the 'her' as I do not like the male being the obvious gender even in a quotation

Before Sunrise
Serendipity
Before Sunset
#movies

"The heart has its reasons, and they aren't debate topics."

I'm aware that this post was supposed to be about Make A Difference but one more meeting with the kids is needed for me to be able to sum it up precisely :)

Take Yours, I'll Take Mine - Matthew Mole
Fall - Meera Shenoy
Boy With A Coin - Iron and Wine
The Cave - Mumford and Sons
#music

"Whenever you feel like criticising anyone," he told me, "just remember that all the people in this world haven't had the advantages that you've had." - F. Scott Fitzgerald

Friday, January 15, 2016

The magic is in the mess

"It is an ancient need to be told stories. But the story needs a great storyteller." - Alan Rickman
#Always

It's one thing to have priorities clear,
it's another to know how different yours are from the selfless people

I consider myself fortunate that I've had the opportunity to meet some fantastic people in my life so far already
You have to be brutally honest only with those who understand honesty!
You have to colour your words with the rest.
- said to me by a very wise fifty-six-year-old independent woman living life on her own terms :)

Look around! Learn a little (even when there is a lot to) from those who're doing it without what you have! Seriously!

When you attend one of the simplest weddings ever
No showoff culture equals no punjabis criticising the food/arrangements/clothes/people's dress sense and more
When there really was so much happiness in the air that one could sense the good vibe with smiling faces all around you
Love marriages are always about struggle, aren't they?
This one could've helped an individual grow one's faith exceptionally though

The definition of travelling is so messed up in our culture/society
Staying in the five star hotels and eating food from restaurants present all across the world
Really? What did you learn? That it's all the same everywhere?
You could do that in your own city and not look outside the window of the hotel room. Haha!
[It's like someone gifting you an electronic gadget on a particular occasion, and in your head you're like; it could've been bought at any point of time after saving up enough; you didn't manufacture it, did you? So what was your (not the money's) effort in it? Yes, I'm weird.]
We don't know our own country well but we love to comment on it every now and then
Trying the local cuisines, using the public transport, exploring an area, that's what it's supposed to be all about!

And,
I have to mention this;
My friend, who is now a mother to a nine months old,
inspires me with her take on motherhood!
She is a rare example in this generation for those of us who haven't walked on her path yet.
And because it kills me a little every single time I see people around me confident that there is nothing that they could possibly learn of/from...
She is the complete opposite of that :)

Life can be as messed up as you make it.
You'll be surrounded by people at one point, and feel like there isn't a single person who's like you and then you'd have one person miles away understanding that there's something not right, just by the punctuation used in your sentences.

You're making fun of someone and you don't mean to hurt that person at all? Fair enough. Keep that person's nature in mind before doing anything. Things that don't hurt you, won't hurt them either : is the worst assumption ever. You don't know that what you're saying or doing would or wouldn't hurt them. I just fail to understand why people keep taking others around them for granted.

You have to keep your freaking equation right with some people, because you're stuck there, and for that, you have to be fake
One of the most difficult things for me to do
Why do we humans complicate everything?
Why can't people just get it? You're a certain way for a reason, and you reacted a certain way for a reason (no, the humans who don't think before opening their mouth aren't included in this list)
You want something, you want something
You love someone, you love someone
Since when did it all become about approval and agreeing with each other's opinions?
You are different god dammit. Ofcourse you wouldn't like what I like or who I like.
But why exactly is that important?
The biggest problem with us humans is; one half is seeking for validation, and the other half thinks they must validate it because it's their basic right and they were born to do just that.
There are such few people out there who actually let you be. Whoever you are, and however you are, they let you be. There is no effort needed with these people. No effort to make a conversation, no effort to laugh/smile. It's effortless because you can share silence with them without thinking even for a second that it could be awkward. These are the kind of people who get you. And most times, one doesn't find such people easily. Because you know, it can't be all that easy.

"If you are like most people, then like most people, you don't know you're like most people."

Selfish. That's what we all are.
We want things our way. We discount other's feelings on the account that it's okay to, because we have problems too. Umm, hello.. We all have problems, and unconditional love is too rare, and it doesn't work the way you think it will.

"Our culture has accepted two huge lies. The first is that if you disagree with someone's lifestyle, you must fear or hate them. The second is that to love someone means you agree with everything they believe or do. Both are nonsense. You don't have to compromise convictions to be compassionate."

Whenever you think how messed up life is for you,
always remember that there are people hoping they manage to get past just one more day without any more troubles.

"You should always have an opinion" is the most bizarre statement I've heard!

Mad World - Hardwell
Starlight (Could You Be Mine) - Don Diablo & Matt Nash
Waiting for Love - Avicii
Strong Ones - Armin van Buuren
Young Again - Hardwell
#music

When you've also been blessed enough to have a friend who writes to you like one would to one's diary :)

An eighty-three-year-old lady with more strength than I've seen in most people
When the closest person to her passed away forty years ago
and she also lost a child of hers eventually
She's someone who's really felt loss
And I'm a firm believer of the fact that one has to face real loss in life, to get out of their bubble
Oh yes, we're all in our own bubbles

The ones who have lesser than us tend to give more than us. It's true!
The driver named Vicky, gave away his bag of peanuts to the boy who asked for food at the window of the car..
And even though I wished I'd have had something edible with me (like in Bombay; Gems) on that day, but I didn't and he did.

It is important to keep meeting people who are different from you!
(for your own personal growth in many ways..)
The reason behind that thought is a girl I met, a few months back, someone very ambitious, who told me about a story of a person who lived in the slums of Mumbai and got through the Stanford MBA on one hundred percent scholarship! People like those are the ones setting examples for the rest of us.

HDFC Life Ad Campaign
~ Another wonderful advertisement :)

Because I started working with an NGO recently...
(yes, it is supposed to be 'an' NGO and not 'a' NGO
The articles are used before an abbreviation/word depending on the pronunciation of the first alphabet in that particular word! Phonetically, yes. So, because in this abbreviation, the N is pronounced as enn, which again begins with a vowel, therefore the 'an'. Haha. Yes, let's face it that we've all wondered about this at some point in our lives before.)

Going back to my primary thought,
Because I started working with an NGO recently;
Make A Difference
The experience so far has obviously been enlightening!
My next post will be only about that :)

There's a part of me that can't wait for the next chapter of my life to begin, a part of me that wants to be there for these kids in many ways, for as long as possible, and a part that wants to go away.

Because it is the people of Mumbai who make it Bombay :)
In their Marathi, the sorted!, the obvious vada pav
The food that added to my happiness:
Chicken Tikka roll from Sigdi, Chip Butty from Theobroma, Sardar Pav Bhaji (no, it's not meant for you if you're not a street food person or if you're concerned about your immunity getting disturbed because of all the butter and the utensils used) and the gol gappe from Right Place (Amarsons)

The typical business class families have so much to learn from the middle class. So much!
It just amazes me every single time I see a confident individual around, and most of the times, the confidence is backed by the wealth inherited. Haha. I find that hilarious.

Because good food makes life better!
And so does Chai :)

"Human beings are works in progress that mistakenly think they're finished."
- Daniel Gilbert

PS- Happy New Year :)

Tuesday, November 24, 2015

Because it's a paradox

It is too important to appreciate silence in a world that never stops talking!

How is a human being so messed up overall?
We hurt people around us all the time, and continue to live in our bubble pointing fingers at whoever possible because we're the fastest at criticising.
You think you know people, but you don't really
Even the closest ones in your life, the degree of variation in your opinion and theirs on certain subjects will leave you nonplussed.

What goes around, comes around.
And that is the ultimate truth.

"You don't remember what happened. What you remember becomes what happened."

The hypocrisy and chauvinism in the culture is in every part of this awesome society we live in
People are shops of brands
Their lives start and end with money
Money: the problem causing problems, always.

"Not everyone will understand your journey. That's fine. It's not their journey to make sense of. It's yours."

When it isn't about finding inspiration, or making a decision,
it's about making a choice...
There's a difference.

When you know that a person is going to react in a certain way and he/she isn't going to entertain your perception, it's only going to make matters worse, then you might as well control your tongue! Why repeat the mistake?
[No, in no way am I attempting to convey that one shouldn't stand up for what one believes in, of course one must. What I've mentioned above is only trying to convey the fact that there is always more than one way to handle a situation, an alternative way, and we must remember that, at least sometimes..]

Because silence and time can both make situations better when you think nothing else can :)

Be thankful.
It makes you a more positive person overall without a doubt.
It doesn't have to be about praying to one God specifically, or praying in general..
Nothing of that sort. But be thankful. It's true that when we appreciate what we can do with everything that we're blessed with and what we have, we don't take it all for granted as much then.
Shukraguzaar is the term I prefer actually. Bohot zaroori hai shukraguzaar hona. Har us cheez ke liye jo humare parents ne, higher power/universe ne humein di hai :)

"People think you're crazy if you talk about things they don't understand."
- Elvis Presley

If you're meant to get something in a certain way and of a certain amount, you will get it irrespective of where you are and who you're with, because things beyond your control have always worked a certain way and they always will. The universe has its timing, and telepathy between people makes your faith grow in general when you just want to believe :)

"The mystery of life isn't a problem to solve, but a reality to experience."

Why on earth are the narrow-minded human beings full of confidence?
Did anyone ask for your opinion? No, it wasn't asked for, keep it to yourself please?
I absolutely cannot stand humans making judgments, passing opinions and imposing their beliefs on all the possible people around them, unnecessarily.
What the hell is wrong with our species, seriously?
Humanity comes last in their thick heads!?

"Pray for the world that blames a refugee crisis for a terrorist attack.
Pray for the world where people walking across countries for months, their only belongings upon their backs, are told they have no place to go.
Pray for the world that does not have a prayer for those who no longer have a home to defend.
For a world that is falling apart in all corners,
and not simply in the towers and cafes we find so familiar."
- Karuna Ezara Parikh

Workaholics: people who take a few seconds to recollect what they had in their last meal!

How do you know what to do when you're being told that you're on the wrong path but your gut says the opposite?
You go with your gut!?
Head vs heart: You listen to your heart, and led the head be this time.
At least you'll find out what your heart wants to know.

Assumptions are the termites killing relationships: since 1990.

"The same boiling water that softens the potato hardens the egg. It's about what you're made of, not the circumstances."

Can we or can we not change our own destiny?
One of the most debatable and intriguing questions still
Of course different perceptions developed from past experiences would say different things, and different theories would set some as norms
But how does one really break it down?

The world only makes you want to run away
But ensuring that the right people in your life are guiding you towards the right path, is essential.

The beliefs one has, one's outlook to life, the upbringing, and schooling of an individual
can tell so much.

Imparting knowledge and aiming to gain something from another is one thing
Feeling superior is another

When a child is pampered for the wrong reasons, he/she is well aware of the fact that from that moment onwards, he/she can take as much advantage as he/she wants of that.
I'm absolutely amazed as to how a parent(s) stays ignorant towards the impact that that has on their relationship with their other child, and then, it's a human tendency that when an individual doesn't find love at home, he/she will look for it outside, always. The importance of good parenting has been overlooked by so many so often.

"Good habits formed at youth make all the difference."

A: You don't have to do that
B: I know..
A: You can't do everything
B: I know, but I can try :)

When the people around you fail to see the purpose of it all
You're not going to take all that money with you
Having a heart and giving, not only takes conscious effort, but humanity.

"When you have more than you need, build a longer table not a higher fence."

Everyone has a 'figuring out' phase in their lives
What's most important when you're in it, is not how fast/at what speed you figure where is it that you're heading, or what is it that you want to do/give to the world
But the people who guide you during this phase, the ones who share their opinions, opinions that you seriously consider... That's what matters. Because if they aren't matching with how you always wanted to work things out in life for yourself, your head and heart won't be at sync with the whole chapter at the end of it.

"Never make fun of someone who speaks broken English. It means they know another language."

Because no matter how much you know about yourself and your choices, your likes/dislikes, people you love, you will keep getting enlightened. It's another thing to think and believe that you know yourself and your partner well, but what you're forgetting is, it's an ongoing process. You're discovering more about yourself with each passing day; your capabilities, fears, your desires.
Things are changing, and so are we.

When something manages to shake your faith for the first time in life.

You can, if you think you can!

Obsessing over Boyce Avenue covers
Alejandro, you're too damn good.
And, Bea Miller covering Ed Sheeran's song: Photograph ~ treat to the eyes and ears!

"To make something special, you just have to believe it's special."

In a conversation with an engineer;
There are raw thoughts, filtered thoughts, unfiltered thoughts, conscious thoughts, subconscious thoughts.. and probably more kinds that I will keep for another post
Irony is, the topic could've been endless
But this crazy person's point of view revolved around thoughts being made of particles and atoms/molecules, etcetera
But of course I never meant to talk about the structure, and that's when you realise that you mustn't go further as you're the one from a non-science background in the conversation. #Blah

Strange Talk - Young Hearts
#music
The Intern
#movie
You're never wrong to do the right thing!
#RobertDeNiro

"What a lot we lost when we stopped writing letters.
You can't reread a phone call."

An article on Menstrupedia
A very interesting and straight forward viewpoint in that link
and I love that this was written by a guy!
"Because psychology always affects physiology."

Astrology: also another debatable topic.

You will not understand the true meaning of it all until you really feel loss, your self.

"The world is changed by your example, not by your opinion."

Thursday, July 9, 2015

The unexpected.

"You cannot protect yourself from sadness without protecting yourself from happiness."

Words are the most powerful things ever..
They can lift you up
or tear you apart
They can take off that weight on your shoulders
or put some extra bit on them
They can work like magic
or a disaster
They can make you want to know a human better
or can destroy the idea of ever wanting that
They can work like an ointment for old wounds caused by inhumane people who will pay for their karma
or they can make it worse if you've chosen to stoop down to that level of inhumanity
Words...
If used in the most appropriate order/sequence, manner, tone, and at an appropriate time,
They can do wonders.
They're underestimated because most of us haven't met the people who use them right, often, yet.

There is a difference between great love and right love.
"You think you shouldn't want it because you've never had it, and it scares you."

It all sums down to something
Life
The small incidents
The big instances
The coincidences
The strange and surreal moments
The tiny parts that involve how one's Sunday was
It's for YOU to make sense out of what you want to make sense and what you don't want to make sense out of
It is a choice even when we don't make a choice!
It will always be about the power of the human mind. Yes, I have mentioned that here before. But reminders are healthy when used for the right purpose :)

"Sometimes it is the people who no one imagines anything of who do the things that no one can imagine."
If only truer words had been spoken!
#TheImitationGame #Brilliance #TheExtraordinaryMinds

When something unreal happens in one's life
When one finds another, who's like a mirror
Who can not just read your thoughts, but actually makes the effort to, and wants to
Yes, I would sum it up in one word for now
And that's Serendipity
But, that doesn't cover enough, because there's more, yes, there is

Being naive is not the bad thing,
But being naive in a society full of people who are not, that's what's harmful!

It's always important to ensure to look for the good in people
But being fooled by those who are always sure of what they say and draw conclusions fast,
that's the sad part
Since you don't get anything by "proving" anyone wrong

"Caring people help others not because they expect a reward, but because it is natural to show kindness."

Being able to feel is the most wonderful thing ever.

I will probably never understand people who can't spend time alone with themselves
How on earth do you expect others to spend time with you, when you can't even spend some with your own self?

Extreme opinions, being too certain about your words/thoughts/actions
It doesn't say any good about you, it tells me that you don't believe that it's important to wonder!

"You can't do today's job with yesterday's methods and be in business tomorrow."

Humans
Some of them actually like to consider themselves inferior and not important and live their life like that, which is why they treat themselves like that throughout
Some literally need life to shake them up and tell them, What For? Breathe maybe?
The innocence in some is made to lose by others

Because life is full of flashes
Flashes of thoughts,
of memories,
of moments that are going by too fast,
of people coming and leaving,
of nature trying to communicate with you,
of stray dogs looking at you with the hope that you may feed them,
of the domestic help at your house looking at you with the expectation that you keep in mind that they are also human beings who could use a smile once in a while,
of your mom humming to old Bollywood songs...

For the gazillionth time,
Humans don't fail to amaze me.
Being that animal who has access to language and the ability to express him/her self through speech, and still has the maximum number of misunderstandings/misconceptions

What the world wants you to do:
- Stay strong and don't speak up about how much it's hurting
- Put on a good face every day and don't share your thoughts with necessarily a person of your choice
- Don't trust your gut because we won't permit you to go ahead with it
- Don't be logical because we won't be
- Your future will not be decided by you, but us
- You will not get to choose what you want to do
- Shut up and listen
- Not numb yet? We're not done with you yet.
#TemporaryDisability

"It's not our job to toughen our children up to face a cruel and heartless world. It's our job to raise children who will make the world a little less cruel and heartless."

You must remember to take care of your own self. Always.
The day you think you'll be taken care of, in the manner you can take care of yourself, you're very mistaken.

So often, people can't express what they really want to,
What's worse is, when their silence is taken for no expression

"It is not in the stars to hold our destiny but in ourselves."

It is an extraordinarily good feeling to know that there is a stranger out there in whose life some of these words could make a difference even for a split second, especially because that was never exactly intended upon :)

Incoherence, equals, me.

In Safe Hands - Badly Drawn Boy
Fell In Love Without You [Acoustic] - Motion City Soundtrack
Unlocking The Mind - Samuel Karl Bohn
#music
(Too many tracks to list for now)

Bad experiences are like scars
Apart from having learnt from them, the ones that last would be there as a reminder

What it says!

Credits for the image to the page: The Idealist

Loss.
Too much loss.
#NepalQuake #IndiaWithNepal

Prayers should never be underestimated.

Aaaah,
When you can't find the right words to not just express your thoughts, but even write them down for that matter
Surreal is the word.
When it isn't about figuring out anymore
It's not about your choice either
It's about deciding how to go about it
Life and its unpredictability!
Damn. Who knew who'd have a situation someday, one you wouldn't know how to handle well enough!

"Without pain, how could we know joy? This is an old argument in the field of thinking about suffering and its stupidity and lack of sophistication could be plumbed for centuries but suffice it to say that the existence of broccoli does not, in any way, affect the taste of chocolate."

When something unexpected happens
Like it's more than you could've asked for
But the question is, how come? And why now?
Because you are who you are because of all that life's taught you until now. Is that it?
... If only reality were to make sense all the time!

When you're sure of what you feel
But you're not sure why

At the end of the day,
Your happiness and wishes will be respected by those who have always loved you, and have always been there no matter what.

When a visit to a play school was enlightening!
My first visit, yes.
A board that lays emphasis on "why do we need plants" through imagery
~
It reminded me of the time, when the same friend (with whom I'd gone to this play school, because she had an interview), had come with me for an interview that I had in Mumbai, over three years ago
:)
A concept of short sentences/phrases on staircases for little kids
'I will empathise'
'I will respect'
'I will learn'
~
The board at the entrance that had a lot of these words ~
Integrity, Appreciation, Respect, Tolerance, Empathy
There were more..
I'd asked the receptionist lady if I could take a picture of the board,
She instantly said, no photography allowed
So, I said, this should be shown more often to adults!
She laughed as I did, but she was a sweet lady.
And I just made a note of these then.
~
It was just very pleasant to see the values that are being aimed to inculcate in the kids that go to that school :)

'Education is a process, learning is an ability'

When you try and find the image of a poster that said "Rain and tea are Siamese twins." from the place #Chaayos and you fail, and therefore, my friend must be told that Google doesn't have an answer to everything, but yes, it's another thing that I really wanted to take a picture of that poster at this place, just that it was hidden the whole time because of someone who was working on his laptop, and seemed to take breaks to wonder and freeze with his head moving here and there (no, I did not just cook that up, he actually did keep stopping whilst working)
Blaaaaah!

If an individual can inspire you to be a better person, you must make sure you learn and grasp as much as possible from this individual in the time that you have...

You never judge your parents :)

Vada Pav, Bun Bhujia and Kullad Chai
The above three with your closest friend while it rains outside :)
(The little things that matter most.)
#ItWasAGoodDay

"She said, 'I'm so afraid.' And I said, 'why?', and she said, 'Because I'm so profoundly happy. Happiness like this is frightening.' I asked her why and she said, 'They only let you be this happy if they're preparing to take something from you'."

When destiny leads you far enough in one direction,
Is it really just trying to test you how you handle it in life,
Or it does intend to give you what you want at the end of it, after all?