Bad day

When it's one of those really bad days. Bad to the extent that apart from everything being negative around, there are more than enough reasons to cry, but for some odd reason, you don't. Not because you didn't want to because you just didn't tell yourself enough, to take it out that way. I wouldn't say I haven't been this low before, I'm sure I have, but I don't remember when it happened last.
I miss home.

Sometimes, it's like as if there really isn't any energy left inside to say anything anymore. You're done saying. Just done with all the explanations.

♫ Quietdrive ~ Time After Time ...

Diverting minds can be easy at one point and extremely hard at another. Be it your own or your friend's, to be taken care of. Incomplete conversations and unfinished thoughts can be disturbing. When you visualised something and it didn't even remotely happen and yes, it's your fault that you did. You couldn't help but blame yourself for the thoughts that came into your head unconsciously and were not converted into actions.

I got to know this sometime back and it did kinda help me guide myself if I wanted to...

There is a whole cycle that follows in our life. It begins from 'thought', goes on to, 'emotion'.. to 'energy' ..to.. 'physical body/environment'.

Now, the thought originating in our conscious mind, where our analytical and logical ability lies, it goes on to become emotion. The conscious mind is only 10-12% in our body, the rest is the sub-conscious, which is about 88-90%. In the sub-conscious, the memory and the database lies.

In between these two is a critical filter. This critical filter needs the information and knowledge to keep flowing from the conscious to the sub-conscious (i.e. from top to bottom). And, this ends up happening when we probably take a deep breath, or we just feel a little relaxed and we try and seep things in. This is very important because the critical filter cannot get jammed with all that is in our head. If at all it does, that is when one goes into depression, and that's when other things also start to go wrong in life as if there's only negativity around.

To make one of my friends admit that, that one cannot be emotionless for long, I'd mentioned the two paragraphs above earlier, in order to convince this person.

A quote here, "Whatever is known to the mind is pleasure and whatever is unknown to the mind is pain."

Dhobi Ghat

"Dhobi Ghat (mumbai diaries)"

Mumbai. The sea : apart from being calm and serene, it takes in everything one says to it without a word and doesn't say anything at all.

A movie which can get one wracking their brains a bit about the whole realization as to what 'coincidences' mean in life and maybe how they shouldn't be ignored. Colours are as deep as an author's thoughts. One bleeds to the paper and the other takes it all out in unspoken words. Personally, a movie which has been able to make me wanna look at one point from different angles, is worth a watch. 

Apart from the basic fact that we come to know about the inter-linkage between different sections of the society, the movie revolves around Mumbai and how one realises that it's probably the only city where so many classes so closely merge into a common thread of different emotions. The abstractness in the movie is something I liked. The painting speaking so much more than one's expectation out of it. 

A quote said by one of the characters of the book I'm reading comes to my mind,

"On the surface, an intelligible lie; underneath, the unintelligible truth." 

The silent moods of people around me can really kill me, sometimes! Just the way mine almost kill them. *confused* Urmm, also, mood swings are contagious in nature man! Remember that? 

When people want to talk, as in they are in the mood, they will. Anything they say, and you have to take it because they expect you to? Really?

What the ____ (usage of the word, as per your choice!) happens when you want to say something and they are not in a mood? Like seriously! At that point of time, instead of probably saying whatever is on my mind, out loud in anger, I'll probably abuse the person in my mind and not say a word. 

Also, just another sight,

A boy sitting in the corner of the street cutting nails on a cardboard shows what? That he's hygienic or he thinks about the world, that nobody should get hurt with the pointy nails or he is superstitious about not throwing them around? Now that really isn't something to think or worry about, and I probably wasted a few minutes of my life giving a thought to something like that, which is not going to make any change around me, in the opinion of the reader reading this.. But I guess I just did. Didn't question myself as to why I did. 

Oh and yes, as I mentioned earlier about making a bucket list.. Now, honestly, that can get interesting! :D

Will come back to that one! 

P.S. - It's the 26th January today. Happy Republic Day.

Roads, books and music?

I saw a man crying, standing at the corner of the road close to a small cigarette shop, the other day. I hadn't noticed the cigarette in his hand until he got it back to his mouth to take another drag after wiping his tear. It was about two in the afternoon as far as I can remember when I walked towards the bus stand. The sights one sees and comes across on a daily basis can leave you blank at one moment and make you wrack your brains a bit the other. A story being there behind every act. A reason.

I enjoy solitude. Sometimes.

In our daily lives, things which are meant to happen and planned in prior.. A possibility of them taking place is always the highest. It's fate which plays its role. An indication given by it to let chance play its role mustn't be ignored.

And about three lines quoted from 'The Unbearable Lightness of Being' by Milan Kundera,

"Chance and chance alone has a message for us. Everything that occurs out of necessity, everything expected, repeated day in and day out, is mute. Only chance can speak to us."

Yes, I'm reading that book. My first book! I'm pretty sure that I've mentioned before that I don't read books and that I believed I couldn't..for nuts! But, I find 'The Unbearable Lightness of Being' very intriguing somehow. Even though I have managed to read only about fifty pages of it till now.. I'm liking it. I mean yeah, I'm going with the flow. Surely, it is not a book meant for me when I'm a starter and haven't really read a whole book by myself before, but, I'm reading it anyway. Oh and yeah, just the gist, as to why only this book out of all the books in the world.. That's simply because, a friend told me once.. 'Do something for me before you die? Read this book?'

*sigh. That statement speaks a lot in itself. Doesn't it? So yes, I'm reading a book! :)
And a quote comes to my mind for some odd reason, "And remember, no matter where you go, there you are." ~ Confucius.

Also, the most awesome song ever is 'Last Day of Your Life' by Glass Pear! :D
Needless to say, it's my current obsession. And, every time I open the bookmarked page of this book.. I play this song along. I'd kinda say that the whole : The Unbearable Lightness of Being + Last Day of Your Life = Awesomeness? Umm, atleast till now. :/


P.S. - I saw 'Dhobi Ghat (mumbai diaries)' today! Oh, technically, yesterday.
Will write about it in the next post :)
Oh, and and and, I also made a bucket list two days back! :D

Music comes to my rescue all the time

I thought I had written a post about how the one thing that puts me off about people is when they pass judgments about somebody they have absolutely no idea about. Like seriously!
But, I realise I haven't. Nonetheless, that statement is kind of self explanatory.

So yeah, coming back to what I had in mind last night...
You must have knowledge about local trains no matter what!
And I mean each word typed above. I am a regular local bus traveler and therefore, I do have some knowledge about buses as to which number would go from where to where maybe. I am not a local train traveler. But, there can be times when you have to travel alone in a train at a peak hour and mind you, you have travelled alone earlier but its been long. And now, you don't seem to remember how to go about it. You figure out which train you have to get onto after questioning people. You're all fine and settled in your head, until, the train comes infront of you and you realise there isn't a female compartment in that train! You're lost again. You don't know what to do. You see the ladies' faces all confused too just like the way you are. And, you see two of them running and getting onto the general compartment! You don't know what to do. And by the time you realise what to.. the train starts to move and for some weird reason..you ran after those two females as well! The train has started to move and just when its about to catch speed.. you climb onto it! Why is the question and I have absolutely no idea.

Train experiences always teach you a lesson. In some or the other manner. After sitting down in it, for some weird reason..I could relate to the rush that one goes through/experiences and realises what was right and what wasn't at a point of time. Maybe I shouldn't have gotten onto that train but I did. And maybe I was meant to. It's not really about getting onto a train or not. It's about asking yourself if I took the right decision at that point of time or not. Even a small decision like that. Or was it even a decision at all? Or it was just a moment of rush and it made me work like that?

Sometimes there are lot of baseless unanswered questions in your head. You should just tell them to stay where they are and probably bury them in some corner of your head by listening to abnormally loud music. It helps me at least.

I am tired about figuring out who cares and who doesn't, and I'm done being the first one to take the initiative and making efforts thinking it's okay, he/she might have forgotten. I'm sick now.
*sigh. It gets irritating at some point of time when you have expressed yourself to the best capacity you could and the person might not even be remotely indifferent to your behaviour but totally behaves like he/she is, and doesn't even do anything to prove that it's the former case here and that it's all good.

And, awesome songs :)
- The Life by Hinder
- The Show Goes On by Lupe Fiasco
- What The Hell by Avril Lavigne
- Love The Way You Lie (Part 2) : Rihanna and Eminem
- Dynamite by Taio Cruz
- Impossible by Shontelle
- Just The Way You Are by Bruno Mars
- No Surprises by Radiohead.

And to end with two quotes,
"Destiny is what you are supposed to do in life. Fate is what kicks you in the ass to make you do it."

"I know you believe you understand what I said, but I am not sure you realise that what you heard is not what I meant."